It was freezing that October in 2014, let me tell you that. Me and Ari went to the forest near my house and did a photoshoot, nothing too fancy – black jeans, sweater and cigarettes. Almost classic.
We barely knew each other, to be honest, just two creative teenagers from the same town who followed each other on Instagram but never spoke in real life. Became classic too now, innit?
So the day we decided to do that, I met Ari at the bus stop and we went to the forest, barely speaking to each other. It was awkward as hell but neither of us could do nothing about it. We just went for it and it still surprises me how two creative people can create something beautiful even without much talk.
I have never done proper modeling before that photoshoot and was super anxious that I would look like an overly dramatic gay-boy trying to smoke when his mom can’t see but I never expected to get a proper portfolio material. Our work turned out great, clearly because Ari has always been a great photographer (her blog – http://barbiesunday.eu) and probably because I turned out to be a pretty decent model too.
This project always reminds me of this amazing peacefulness that Narva-Jõesuu is soaked with, this warm feeling of being absolutely alone in the middle of the forest or near the sea but at the same time never really feeling lonely. I spent my whole childhood in this place and I am forever grateful for the memories it gave me and the thoughts it made me think.
Now, living in the middle of London, I think about my hometown as of a perfect getaway, as of the place that is always safe and stable, where I am deprived of all the opportunities I have here in London but at the same time, weirdly enough, I don’t really mind.
All my life I wanted to escape this town with all its constant scrutiny and its utilitarian values but now, when finally done so, I miss it. I don’t regret going away, no. I love London and I love my life as it is now. However, I will always have this sweet longing for the home where tranquility is a constant. That kind of shelter is something everybody needs and I am sure you will understand why I love mine so much. Here is the complete photoshoot, October 2014: